also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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