just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
