Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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