it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
