if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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