i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
