we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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