okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
