I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
