I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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