yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
