I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Randomize