Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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