the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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