What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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