Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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