Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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