We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
