K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
