Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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