Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
