You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
