Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
