Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
