Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
