my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
