I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i love accidental penises.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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