I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
