you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
