I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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