so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
