Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
