be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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