did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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