Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
