these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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