i may or may not be watching the land before time
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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