barbara walters just said penis...
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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