; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Randomize
