youre lurking in front of me
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
