During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
