she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
