Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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