He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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