She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize