can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
