Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
