Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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