I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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