Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
