You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
