So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
