Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize