Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Randomize
