I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
