You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
