On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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