there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
