Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
