I need help removing her.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
