Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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