can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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