i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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