I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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