i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
