Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Randomize