I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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