Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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