I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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