I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
