Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
