I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
