Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
